1 Tim. 5:11-16 - Checking it Twice - Dealing with Widows - Part 2

11 But do not accept younger widows on the list, because their passions may lead them away from Christ and they will desire to marry,
12 and so incur judgment for breaking their former pledge.
13 And besides that, going around from house to house they learn to be lazy, and they are not only lazy, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things they should not.
14 So I want younger women to marry, raise children, and manage a household, in order to give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us.
15 For some have already wandered away to follow Satan.
16 If a believing woman has widows in her family, let her help them. The church should not be burdened, so that it may help the widows who are truly in need.

Verses 11-15 deal with the problem of younger widows. I have read several commentaries, and don’t really have a clearer understanding than before. For me the problems that arise are not because a young woman would want to get married again. Paul actually recommends that the young widows find a man, marry him, have kids and manage her household. And it is not out of the realm of reality that an idle young woman would become a busybody, collecting and spreading gossip.

The troubling section includes the phrases 'incurring judgement', 'breaking a pledge', and 'wandering to follow Satan'. There appears to be some uncertainty about the 'pledge' the young widows may have made, or whether there was actual 'judgement' or maybe her behavior would bring condemnation and dishonor to the church body. Paul was definitely concerned that their wandering ways would cause them to 'follow Satan', perhaps a reference to marrying a non-believer which had the danger the widow would drift away from the church, and her 'first love' towards Jesus Christ.

Triage

Vs. 11: - “But do not accept younger widows on the list, because their passions may lead them away from Christ and they will desire to marry,”

"do not accept younger widows" - The 'list' to which Paul is refering is for widows who are desperate, having no other resources. It might be that older women are beyond child bearing age. It would have been tough for a widow who was beyond child bearing years to snag a husband. It may be that young widows would find a man who wanted children, and marry him. This instruction will help the church keep from being overwhelmed. How many people without jobs, without homes can the local church support?

I think Paul is describing a ‘triage’ process.
The elders and deacons would need to consider each person that asks for aid from the church. Determine which applicant is truly needy.
(1) Are they old, destitute, no family, and homeless? If the answer is “Yes”, their name stays on the list..
(2) Are they young, or middle aged, a home to live in, with other family members? If the answer is “Maybe, or No” - on the list.
(3) Are they young, and can marry again? If the answer is “No” they are on the list.
This is a means of threshing out the non-needy from the truly needy. Note there is no percentage, no ratio of married-to-widowed quotas to meet. Like so many other guidelines or commands in the new covenant there are no 'numbers', no locked-in parameters.

For example: The question was asked, "How many times do I have to forgive my brother?" (See: Matt. 18:21.) Some scholars think the teaching at this time was you only needed to forgive someone has done wrong to you three (3) times. Peter, in asking the question went 'way beyond' that limit in suggesting forgiving all the way up to seven (7) times. Jesus' answer, similar to His teaching in "Sermon on the Mount", placed an impossible standard - 70 x 7. Four hundred ninety! This number is impossible to attain.
On the other hand, think about this: Do you want God to stop forgiving you at 491 sins? Even though you were dead in your sins, Christ died for you that you may live. (See: Rom. 5:7,8; Col. 2:13.) There is no upper limit for the church and its social responsibility. There is no minimum below which the church need not provide assistance. Wc can provide for as many as God provides supplies to meet those needs.

"passions will lead them away" - This is similar to verse 6, above. Although Paul is addressing the problems with younger widows, this is not just a problem for women. Younger men and women may be more prone to following their feelings than the gospel. It is not hard to see how falling love would distract a young person from living out their faith. And considering, at least in the culture at that time, that marriage would mean survival, or a step up from barest subsistence for a woman. Our modern culture is not accustomed to the hardship single women have faced for centuries - there weren't the job and professional opportunities. It wasn't necessarily looking for love, as much as looking for stability. We can guess that 'stability' may not whisk a person away, whereas 'falling in love' may totally distract us from Jesus.

Vs. 12: - “and so incur judgment for breaking their former pledge.”

"breaking... former pledge" - This is a puzzle. I think perhaps the word 'pledge' as seen in some translations may not fit what is being said. It doesn't seem to be referring to the 'pledge' of fidelity to her dead husband. A second marriage is not adultery if the former husband is dead. That is not a sin. I am not sure the acceptance of Christ as Lord and Savior is called a 'pledge' anywhere in the New Testament.

Some translations (KJV, NKJV, ESV) render this phrase as 'former faith', or 'first faith'. A look in a concordance shows the word is translated 'faith' in regards to a person’s relationship to God - a strong and personal conviction in God or Christ; or, faithfulness, fidelity. The Greek for 'pledge' is entirely different, leaning more toward the promise God makes to us as a guarantee of His faithfulness to us.

This makes more sense - a young woman, having expressed her faith in Christ, becomes distracted from that faith. The reputation of the church will be sullied if she abandons her Christian 'walk', or commitment to Christ while casting about for a husband, or begins living wantonly. If she committed her life to Christ and then turns away, she will have neglected, or broken her first love toward Christ.

"incur judgement" - I do not think this means the wanton widow loses her salvation. It does mean she will face Jesus Christ and His judgement seat to account for her actions. (See: 2 Cor. 5:10, 1 Cor. 3:11-15)

Vs. 13: - “And besides that, going around from house to house they learn to be lazy, and they are not only lazy, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things they should not.”

"learn to be lazy" - You can imagine a young widow wandering around town, going from house to house. We might expect her to be lonely and in need of comfort and sympathy. Again, I say, this admonition does not apply to young women only! Anyone who has too little to do will have plenty of opportunity to get themselves into trouble. An old proverb "Idle hands are the Devil's playthings" is not scripture, but has the ring of truth to it. Widow-hood is not the problem. Being nosey, spreading gossip, wandering around, being lazy - those are the problems.

What is the solution? What can the church do to help these single young women (i.e., widows) stay busy and out of trouble? Paul does not say much about this. Finding ways for young people to serve others in need, whether to provide child care help, household help, manual labor to help needy maintain their homes. The church cannot force someone to serve in this way. Encouraging them to do so may mitigate potential problems.

Vs. 14: - “So I want younger women to marry, raise children, and manage a household, in order to give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us.”

"give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us." - Paul's solution is for them to get married, have a family and household to manage. The impetus is to maintain the reputation of the church body, and therefore to hold high the name of Jesus Christ. Look at Ezek. 36:20-23. God told the Jews the reason they were in exile was because they had 'profaned' his Name. They had cheapened the image of God to the Gentiles around them. Their actions allowed the non-believers to say "God is not that special. They believe in Him and yet they can act in a manner unworthy of the glory and power of God."

It is the same for you and I. God and Jesus are demeaned when we do things that are unbecoming to the price paid for out sins. In this letter, younger widows are behaving in ways that are un-Christian. You know that Satan will use any such opportunity to reduce the impact and the witness of the church to the world. It is bad enough that lies are told about Christians. Some of these lies are believed and spread around the community. Worse is when our behavior is seen and casts evil light on the church. (See 1 Pet. 4:15, 16.) There is no glory in suffering because of the wrong things you may do.

Vs. 15: - “For some have already wandered away to follow Satan.”

"wandered away" - This is not a theoretical exercise. Paul is not writing about what may happen if young people are idle. Some had already left the church community to follow their passions. The statements in this paragraph seems harsh and sexist to our modern culture. Paul is picking on women. Take a step back to consider the bigger picture. The world of unbelievers is always watching us as we live out our faith. Is what I am doing dishonoring God? Are people watching me and thinking, "Why should I burden myself with church and faith? That guy is no different than I am. I don't need the extra load. Life is difficult enough without adding Christianity to it." That sounds heretical. Go back to the Ezekiel verses mentioned above. It is not heresy when a non-believer is turned off because of my life and actions. That is a burden I don't need.

Vs. 16: - “If a believing woman has widows in her family, let her help them. The church should not be burdened, so that it may help the widows who are truly in need.”

"church should not be burdened" - Families shall take care of each other. If the widow has no family, then the church works on her behalf. Also, I think this can be applied to single unmarried women as well as widows.

1 Tim. 5:9-10 - Making a List - Dealing with Widows

9 No widow should be put on the list unless she is at least sixty years old, was the wife of one husband,
10 and has a reputation for good works: as one who has raised children, practiced hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, helped those in distress - as one who has exhibited all kinds of good works.

Caring for Older Widows

Vs. 9-10: - “No widow should be put on the list unless she is at least sixty years old, was the wife of one husband, and has a reputation for good works: as one who has raised children, practiced hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, helped those in distress - as one who has exhibited all kinds of good works.

"put on the list unless" - The list is of those who qualify for assistance from the church.

a) “at least 60 years old” - The age limit, 60 years, means only senior citizens need apply. (In that time, 60 might likely have been truly senior.)

b) “wife of one husband” - Based on the earlier part of the letter (1 Tim. 3:3, 12) I think this means a woman who has not been divorced and re-married. This does not apply to a woman who might have been widowed and married again. Again, I believe monogamy is a probably a command, but am not absolutely sure about that. We do know that God did not (does not, still?) approve of divorce. (See Mal. 2:16; Matt. 19:7, 8.) I realize that we modern day evangelicals are sure the standard for marriage is one man-one woman. Again I am not sure about that, since so many of the Biblical saints had more than one wife. That is not an endorsement. For example God hated divorce, but the Jews insisted - so God gave them rules for divorce. It seems that it may be the same for polygamy - God does not approve, but people do it anyway. Paul is encouraging one-man-one-wife. However, polyandry would reduce the number of widows that would need help. (Sarcasm alert!)

c) reputation for goods works (exhibited all kinds of good works), including - raising children, practicing hospitality, washed the feet of saints, helped those in distress.

I do not know if the these characteristics are inclusive, or an 'for example' type. I don't know any person who has a reputation for all of these things. What is indicated is that the widow should be a stable and faithful believer. Don't think this list applies only to women. As a minimum, all believers should be stable and faithful.

1 Tim. 5:7-8 - Recognize Your Responsibility

7 Reinforce these commands, so that they will be beyond reproach.
8 But if someone does not provide for his own, especially his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Beyond Reproach

Vs. 7: Reinforce these commands, so that they will be beyond reproach.

"Reinforce these commands" - Paul is issuing a command to Timothy, "Teach and command these things to the church body."

"will be beyond reproach" - If the believers in the church follow the commands, they will be living their faith, and there will be no condemnation. This is not referencing loss of salvation, but judgment of the believers in regards to 'working out their salvation.' See: 2 Cor. 5:10. We have a responsibility to live for Christ, and will be held accountable.

Vs. 8: - But if someone does not provide for his own, especially his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

"does not provide for his own..." - Whether the church members were Jewish or Gentiles, they have been taught how to live their faith. Specifically, "Do not let widows suffer!" If the widows have no family, the church as a body steps in and provides care. If the widow has family - brothers, sisters, sons or daughters - the family steps up. This is a follow-up to verses 4 and 6 above. It pleases God if family takes care of family, not putting a burden on the church (vs 4). Verse 6 was stern, a warning to avoid self-love and pleasure seeking. (The opposite of the modern mantra: "You can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself.")

"denied the faith... worse than an unbeliever." - Why do you suppose the statement "worse than an unbeliever" is there? I think it is because now you know better. The unbeliever has not been taught "Love one another, just as Christ has loved you" John 13:34, 15:12. Again, taking care of the helpless - widows and orphans - is not just a New Testament phenomenon, but part of the Judeo-Christian heritage. This was mentioned in verse 3 above. We have a great responsibility to live for Christ. See: Luke 12:48.
Churches can deny the faith by not caring the needy fellow believers, and “be worse than unbelievers”. Let's take a look at the church in Sardis: Christ warns them to remember what they heard and received, to repent and obey. See: Rev. 3:1-4. In an adjacent passage the church in Philadelphia was under siege, and they obeyed the commands with the little strength they had. Christ approved! See: Rev. 3:8.

1 Tim. 5:3-6 - Dealing with Widows - Part 1

3 Honor widows who are truly in need.
4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should first learn to fulfill their duty toward their own household and so repay their parents what is owed them. For this is what pleases God.
5 But the widow who is truly in need, and completely on her own, has set her hope on God and continues in her pleas and prayers night and day.
6 But the one who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.

Note: This section of the letter, verses 3-16, deals with the how the church handles people who are in need. Most of the instructions are about widows, and the responsibility of the family and the church to care for them.

Vs. 3: - “Honor widows who are truly in need.“

"Honor widows..." - There was no 'safety net' for widows and orphans or the poor and needy such as we have in our culture. The welfare system is a relatively new phenomenon. (Read a Jane Austen novel. England was a First-World nation for that time. Several of her novels deal with the plight of women who have no husband. Or watch 'Call the Midwife', a series about nun midwives working out of an Anglican center in post-World War II London. The penury and depth of need for the women and orphans is stark.)
In the first century A.D., the command for the church is take care of widows in need. This is not a suggestion.

It is not just a New Testament command. God's instructions to the Israelites were to provide for the widow and orphan. See: Exo. 22:22; Deut. 10:18, 24:19-21. God chastised the Jews for not listening to Him. He was not pleased: see Zech. 7:10-12. 'A great wrath' is to fall on them because of their disobedience.

Vs. 4: - “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should first learn to fulfill their duty toward their own household and so repay their parents what is owed them. For this is what pleases God.”

"if a widow has children..." - Care for the widow, or the people in need, starts in the family.

"learn to fulfill their duty... and so repay their parents" - The message here: you owe your parents this care. This is your duty as a child. See: Exo. 20:12, Deut: 5:16 (part of the 10 Commandments!) This command is second only to honoring and worshiping the Lord God Almighty - it is before 'Do not murder'; and before 'Do not steal'. If you honor your parents, your life will go well in the land you are living. Powerful stuff! The kind of stuff that pleases God. What could be better than that?

Vs. 5: - “But the widow who is truly in need, and completely on her own, has set her hope on God and continues in her pleas and prayers night and day.”

"truly in need and completely on her own" - This describes a woman, whatever her age, who has lost her husband, has no grown children and other family to whom she can appeal. She has no safety net.

"set her hope on God" - He is the one to whom we can turn in times of trial. What could be worse than to be alone in the world. I was going to say, alone and helpless, but figured that would raise some hackles, "Are you saying a woman is helpless?" I am not. If you have lost your 'life partner' and are left alone, I think you will feel adrift and hopeless, helpless. In such a situation, to whom can you turn? Who will come along side you to comfort you, day and night? Who will give you peace? Set your hope on God. Set your hope on the Lord Jesus Christ. Pray to Jesus 'day and night'. See: Phil. 4:6,7 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
But we say to that, "I've lost my spouse! I have no money! I have no family to take care of me! How do you expect me to not be anxious?!" Good question. The Bible is rife with accounts of people who have lost it all, and yet trust God in all things. See Heb. 11 for a good summary. Jesus is asking you to trust Him, in good situations and in bad.

Vs. 6: - “But the one who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.“

"one who lives for pleasure is dead" - News Flash! This is not just about widows or women. Paul is making a stark statement. Anyone who puts his/her personal wants ahead of their relationship with Jesus is lost. The juxtaposition of caring for widows to living for pleasure is jarring. It is hard for me to place widowhood together with wanton living (we see this in the movies or TV drama!). Verses 11-15 also deal with the idea of younger widows getting themselves into problems because they are trolling for husbands.

Jesus made it clear when He taught, there would be no half-measures when following Him. One person wanted to follow, but first wanted to take care of personal matters. Matt 8:19-22. Jesus also warned trying to preserve your way of life was not going to save you. Mark 8:35-38. If you don't "take up your cross" you are not worthy. Matt 10:38, Luke 9:23. No one can serve two masters. Matt 6:24.

The admonition to keep your focus on Christ does not take away the responsibility of the church to care for the family of believers. A widow should never go hungry for lack of food, or catch cold for lack of clothes, or sleep on the street because she has no place to sleep and live.

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